Have You Ever Noticed.... Opposites

Have you ever noticed that there are times when people say one thing and it's the total opposite?  It's funny when they're being sarcastic and joking, but it's just plain sad when they're not.  Here are some of my favorite examples.

I'm/my friends/the activity I'm in is really cool.  Fact - if you say this, you/your friends/the activity you're in is not cool.  Saying it's cool will not change it into being cool, no matter how many times you say it.  I had a friend who insisted that marching band kids are way cooler than the other kids, including the athletes.  I really like marching band kids (most of my friends are in marching band), but they are always lower on the social totem pole than the athletes.  Always.  I'm so sorry.

I'm so helpful.  Most people say this on accident while they are helping someone out.  It's just an awkward slip-of-the tongue and they are quick to laugh and joke about it with you.  But then there are the people who do mean it.  They are usually total suck-ups or three-year-old children.  I'd advise to stay away from both.

They know me by name there.  Again, most people say this with sarcasm - indicating that they go to a certain place more than they probably need to.  Of course, there are the people who truly mean this.  They can fit into one of three categories: 1) they are very sad and don't have anywhere else to go 2) they are just bragging and being freakin' annoying or 3) both.

Yeah, I'm so fat.  The people who say this are usually stick-thin, practically anorexic girls who probably weighs 50 pounds.  As I'm not a stick-thin, practically anorexic girl who weighs 50 pounds, this bugs the crap out of me.  You're skinny.  Don't deny it, just deal with it.  If you're fat then what are you calling the rest of us, huh?

Do you have any favorite opposites?  Please share below!

Twifail

*'Kay, so I realize that some of you out there may be Twilight fans.  That's fine.  I'm just expressing my opinion.  Please don't freak out.  If you're going to then just stop reading.  Right now.  Still reading?  Then I'm not longer responsible for your freak out.


So Breaking Dawn: Part 1 just came out yesterday (I was not aware of this until during class one of the girls was like, "OMTwilight, I saw Breaking Dawn last night!  *squeal*").  I believe this would be an excellent time to tell you I strongly dislike Twilight with a passion.  There is no plot, Edward is an abusive stalker, Bella is a whiny, ungrateful, self-absorbed, self-destructive little girl who needs to get a grip, Jacob is just plain creepy with a capital CREEPY, and vampires should never, ever sparkle.  Ever.  It's just gross and wrong.  Plus, it's so poorly written.  Ugh, it's almost painful to read.  Sometimes I wonder if Stephenie Meyer just woke up one morning and go "Oh, I think I'll just ruin vampire novels for everyone and at the same time set back feminists about 100 years."  Oh, that's right, SHE DID (she got the book idea from a freakin' dream).  Anyway, here are some of my very favorite anti-Twilight sayings:

• Jacob Black, I want to 'La Push' you off a cliff.
• Stephenie Meyer is my hero.  If she can publish a book I know I can.
• Then Buffy staked Edward.  The End.
• Team Tyler's Van
• Twilight: Bram Stoker is rolling in his grave.

And here is a great musical based on the books by Gliff Productions!  Enjoy!

Harry Potter Humourous Interpretation

Are you a Harry Potter fan?  Do you enjoy laughing?  Do you have any sense at all?  Then this oral interp piece is perfect for you!  It was preformed by Nathan Rarick from Manzano HS (Albuquerque, NM).  He got second place, but in my opinion he should have won - he is so good!  To look at part one click here.  To watch part two click here.  I have to say my favorite part would have to be his singing.  Amazing!  ;) 

"Have you ever walked in on your parents while they were....being brutally attacked by a psychotic wizard killer who was after you too?"

Quotes R Us

Have you ever being reading or listening to something and a line just seems to stick out a bit more than the rest?  Well, because this seems to happen to me all of the time, I'm going to shove a few down your throat...er, I mean share a couple ;)

• "She's just in love with being in love." ~ Love, Inc by Yvonne Collins
• "Tongue-tied and oh so squeamish, you never fell in love.  Did you get what you deserve?  The ending of your life." ~ Dead! by My Chemical Romance
• "Leave reality outside and come along for the ride." ~ Cirque Dans La Rue by the Plain White T's
• "After Tuesday, even the calender says 'WTF'." ~ anonymous
• "When I see a hot tub, I don't really see a hot tube.  I see a cauldron for people soup." ~ anonymous
• "I'm kind of a big deal." ~ anonymous
• "It's a burden being this smart." ~ anonymous
• "Can't fix stupid." ~ anonymous
• "I'm so clever that sometimes I can't understand a single word of what I'm saying." ~ anonymous
• "If history repeats itself, I'm so getting a dinosaur." ~ anonymous

Punk Rock

There's something about punk rock that makes me smile.  Every lyric seems to be full of mocking attitude and pure sarcasm.  But you have to have both the music and the lyric together for it to really work (the sarcasm, that is).  It's wonderful really.  Plus, if you just listen to what the lyrics are saying... well, there's a lot of crap, but underneath there is a message.  Not necessarily a bad message and not necessarily a good message, but something that maybe we should start listening to.  So do yourself a favor and listen to some punk rock.

 

Here are some examples of bands (and a taste of their music) that are classifed as PUNK.

• My Chemical Romance (MCR)
• Green Day
• Good Charlotte
• Paramore
• Simple Plan

 

PS:  Just cuz one of these bands say something, doesn't mean I believe in it.  Just so ya know.

To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity

In this day and age, I believe that it is necessary to have a bit of insanity in our lives as to not go insane with boredom (try wrapping your head around that).  Here are a couple of tips to help you out.

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks .  Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write ' For Marijuana'

7. Finish all your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

9. Skip down the hall rather than walk and see how many looks you get.

10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify that your drive-thru order is 'To go'.

12. Sing along at the opera.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you have a headache.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, Scream 'I won! I won!'

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, Yelling 'Run for your lives! They're loose!'

19. Tell your children over dinner, 'Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.'

Oh Crayola

While searching the web one day, I found this delightful picture.  I guess Crayola couldn't figure out anything else to name their crayons...  Check out these slightly adult named crayons that are oddly both great and horrible at the same time.

found at: www.i-am-bored.com